Charlotte, that line you got back from your husband is similar to what I heard from friends a while back in a smaller party setting. I was patient with it on site, but was later furious about it. I am still working out how I would handle future installments of a similar nature.
It means a lot to you not to be drinking. Impress upon your husband that he can benefit from having a sober spectator/wife, if you think it will do any good.
I normally don't suggest lying (since recovery has to do with honesty), but if you think it is necessary to avoid mayhem and drama, it may not be such a rotten thing to do. You could make it all about your health as an initial way of bringing it up in a group setting. I assume it would not be in the cards to say the fuller reasons for quitting.
In the long run, I can certainly relate to the importance of hanging on to your sobriety, so do what you think it takes to keep a good thing going!