Aw Outto, thankyou. *tears*. I like that quote a lot. I wrote a letter after reading your first reply to me, I don't know if I have the guts to follow through-- that is the problem.
Anyway, for those who care to listen, please tell me your thoughts/guidence.
Dear ***, I have written you a hundred letters in the past, and I know this one won't be much different to you. But for me, things have changed a lot. I have changed a lot. I don't have 'fun' anymore-- simply because I'm not happy. I chose to wait a very long time, for our situation to 'change', the only thing that has changed is me. I can't give you an ultimadum -- because really, they are uneffective. People need to make changes for themselves because they want to. Cleiarly you don't want a different life-- and that is ok, for you. However, for ME, I want something 'different', I want more. I think you know what I want, but just so we are clear" I want to be loved enough to be a whole part of someones life, I want someone who is 'really' divorced. I want to be a part of my partners family. I don't want drugs in my life, AT ALL, and certaintly not in the body of a person that I am intimate with.
You can't and/or won't give me any of these basic needs of a relationship. Therefore, it has to end. (I know this will be hard for me), because I do love you, but in the meantime, I'm falling apart. I know that I will be a better person without you-- that is not the way it should be in a relationship. I'm sad, hurt, and angry. Between work and school, the kids-- I don't have the energy left-- for heartache. I want to live my life, and things just simply never got better for me with you.
Take time if you need it, (you don't need to be childish and throw your things in a suitcase), it dosen't need to be drama-filled. But at this point, I have to draw the line. You had me from 35- 40. those were some really good years. I can't turn 41 soon, and have this life, it's not working for me., frankly it never has-- I just believed for a very long time, that you would make good on your promises, it just didn't happen.
Love,
Cess