SMF30;
I got on here tonight because of some uneasy feelings about my AH. and when I read your post I thought OH NO you beat me here *L* I have had enough about 3 weeks ago and moved out, partyly thinking he would stop but mostley thinking I have got to keep peace with in and my kids. SO I was gone 2 weeks and the whole time he begged me to go home 7 days sober I did for many reasons one not being how he begged. But it was hard living in a house with 11 people.
1 week later My kids catch him drinking.... we go through the whole 10 days sober down the drain. yack yack yack...... so we did the arguing not about him drinking but about promises.
2 days later he started again and then again 2 days ago.after I asked him if he was he said no, and then we caught him. I HATE the lies. and the feeling of this is not the way I want my life to be......... Therefor Either I choose to live like this or choose to change either way it is my choice.
God grant me the sernity to accept the things I can not change, courage to change the things I can.... and WISDOME to know the diffrence.
I am starting to believe that I can not make him love me or the kids more than his beer. I can read and read the same things and still do not understand how alcohol comes above and before children.
My husband won custody of his daughter 9 years ago anmd he is so close to loosing her today due to his drinking......
My HA has some great hiding places as well..... *L* in the bathroom cabnits where the toilit paper goes... in the ceiling tiles or leaves the empties in the van.
I really like the quote that you said
I've FINALLY realized that this isn't about HIM. I either have to accept him for WHO he is and stop grieving for the person I hwished he would becoad me - and if I can't do that then I need to get out.
I found I am so much happier when my kids and me are alone a little more worried about bills but calmer,peaceful........... Just wanted to give you a little whisper in the ear your not alone.