(((Dev))) - first of all, I wanted to say that the fact that she called you back IMMEDIATELY after you left her the message about "this was a test..." shows that she IS trying (IMO) - she knows she messed up, but she respects you enough to call you back and keep trying. If she didn't want to try, she wouldn't have called. That REALLY stood out to me.
econdly, as an RA who has just recently quit smoking AGAIN, using the patch, I had to hang on to the cigs for a while. They were like my security blankie, when I was trying to learn how to live my life all over again after giving up the dope. It sounds like you've "maybe" thought of a compromise, but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
Your granddaughter and the great-grands are truly blessed to have you and Mr. Dev in their lives. Keep us posted!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy