Maybe she needs to hear some of the positive results of her recovery from you? It is easy to slip into the mode of being someone who says nothing but what she is not supposed to be doing. People in early recovery are like young teenagers: the more you tell them what not to do, the more they do just that. I can imagine what a burden this is on you, but she is going to be who she is going to be. All you can do is be supportive without being too critical. Unfortunately, she is not going to be what you need her to be for your family for a while. Sometimes, thinking of a recovering addicts condition as being something else can change your perspective. For instance, if you thought of it as the flu or a bad cold or some female illness, you might be able to empathize with what she is going through a little better. You "detach" the way a parent detaches from a child and simply guide the child by reward and encouragement.
Sometimes it may seem like your burden is greater than hers. At these times it would be in your best interests to seek support in Al-Anon or Narc-Anon. Good luck.