Welcome aguyintx! It's great you found us. I've been on both sides of this thing. I was the wife of an alcoholic (now dead) who never did see the light. Nothing I said got through to him, & I never reached out to Al-Anon for guidance - wish I had. We drank together and had alot of fun with it long ago, so I was shocked when I realized he was drinking all day, even at work. You'll hear the phrase "alcoholism is a progressive disease". I'm probably around your wife's age, and over the years it brought me to my knees. I finally had to admit I'm an alcoholic also - it just took me a while longer to destroy my life.
We're all different when it comes to temptation - MahiMahi can't be around alcohol at all right now. For me, I'm not tempted by my "normie" husband having a few beers. I know picking up again will kill me, so it's not an option. It sounds like your one drink a night is just a habit, not a necessity. Maybe you could try not having it for awhile & see how it goes.
I'm sure your wife is miserable in the trap she finds herself in. I hope she will decide to participate in life once again. Please let us know how it's going for you.