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Old 03-19-2010, 09:00 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Kingston, NY
Posts: 6
New to the site, but not to recovery.

Hi everyone, I'm Chazz44. Thank God for this site!

I'm a recovering substance abuser, primarily heroin. I've been clean for 22 years. I'm a grateful member of the 12 Step Community - it's the bedrock of my life and recovery. I stay struggling with ACOA and co-dependency issues.

I'm in the process of working the Steps. It's something I do on a routine basis. I'm the kind of person who needs to keep it "fresh" lest I forget that my "disease" is always strategizing to kill me. This time around, I'm exploring my tendency to become involved in dead end relationships - something I know challenges my sobriety and my sanity.

A year ago in May, I discovered that my, then, lover had tapped out my credit cards to the tune of $23,000+. Among other things, she had stolen my identity. I discovered this accidentally while refinancing my mortgage when I received a standard credit report. I had no idea at all - she was pilfering my mail and conducting transactions on the internet. Within 3 days, she and the child we had co-parented for 6 years, vanished. She with the police on her heels (she had also been kiting checks all over town), our child dumped on her abusive bio father. I haven't heard from, or seen, either one of them since. Not even so much as a text message. It was like the earth opened up and swallowed my family before my eyes. Then, there was the matter of all that debt. I almost lost my house, not to mention my will to go on.

It's been a haul. I would not be limping through any of it without my 12 Step Community. I've begun dating again, and you guessed it, I'm involved with a woman with all sorts of "issues" and no "program". I'm emotionally backing out of the relationship, but it's difficult because when we're good, we're excellent. These days I'm attempting to stay focused on my "program", specifically, why my "love" relationships seem to replicate my alcoholic family dynamics.

There's this woman walking down the street, she sees a hole, she falls in - again and again. Jeeze it get's old.

Anyway, enough with the WHA, WHAs.... I'm looking forward to being a member of this site and getting and giving whatever support I can. Thank you for being here.
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