I have no desire whatsoever to wish to pick up a drink or take any drugs. I frequently talk to people about my past experiences without any desire to go back there. I am totally indifferent about it.
However that is not to say that I don't miss being able to go to music festivals, raves, pubs or just generally anywhere else where most 24 year old cats and chicks hang out at. I still cannot face the thought of these at my age without booze or drugs. That just ain't me drinking orange juice at a rave. Never was never will be.
Of course there will be times of nostalgia about drinking and drugging. That will be there naturally and is only natural. I choose to express where I'm at on SR where others may keep there 'off' times hidden and only share their 'good'. keeps me stay sober and thats what matters to me personally.
I ain't in sobriety for point scoring and comparing my sobriety against any one elses and comparing who is the most happy, joyous and free. To me that is fake and I ain't a fake. I never was in my party days and I ain't in my sober days.
At 24 it is a case of adjusting to a life different to what most people you would want to hang with are living. I accept that and I am happy in my decision. The drug scene and particularly my party drug days were vastly different to drinking. I can see through drugs and that is how I stay clear, with booze I don;t have a compulsion to drink whatsoever anymore... but of course there will be fleeting thoughts which pass. In my book this is reality and reading Bill's story last night only reafirmed to me that what I experince is perfectly normal for a recovering alcoholic and addict at 24.
Peace