Keeping posting and reading here. Read the power posts at the top of this form and the NarAnon form. Look in the phonebook for AlAnon.
Here's the official website
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/
Mostly when you are told the 'answers are within' is that when you learn to trust yourself and be yourself and see where you want to go with your life, you see what you need to heal thus starting the process. The more knowledge you aquire the better to make good choices for yourself.
The one nice thing about here is you are never alone.