Think one of those bricks bounced off my head, TC.
It is "funny" how the simple tasks of washing dishes, putting one's dirty laundry in the bag, setting the table, vacuuming the floor, can denote the importance of who does them.
The woman, no matter if she works outside the home, is usually the one doing the housework as well, and it is deemed as "just unpaid housework". Often, should her H , BF or child do any of them, they seem to take on a different aspect, and suddenly the task has a monetary value, can even require accolades for being done.
For you TC, coming home from a fulltime job, no doubt tired, but dinner needs fixing, then dishes need washing.....no value put on your doing these things, no accolades.
BF is not working, is light on financially and offers his dishwashing expertise in place of a cash contribution to living expenses......Ahhhhh Grrrrr!!!
You now realise your own worth better than you have in the past, and knocked that idea back to him. Well done on your stand for yourself and the rest of us.
My kids got pocket money each week, for doing chores and errands that were over and above those I expected from them.
I never paid them for making their own beds, keeping their rooms clean, doing dishes or setting the table, as these tasks are part of family life, and it is for their comfort to have a tidy bed and room...not mine. I figure if you live as a family then you contribute to the comfort and enjoyment as a family, out of love not for payment.
If you pay the way for a month or two, then BF, when financially able returns the favour for the same length of time.....that is a partnership of equals. It also cuts out that "you owe me $so much" hassle that can cause heaps of trouble.
As for his dreams of becoming a pilot, well TC, that is up to him as this is his dream to chase, not yours.
Hope you are all sorted and he is employed very soon. Stay strong my girl.
God bless
Hope