"For each addiction I could see the pattern from exhilarting, to necessary and so on down into despair. I know others have found this useful."
This resonates with me.
And for me I can see a batch of years during which there is a wrestling match to make sure the gratification in the drug was there - which led to methodical neglect about having something to eat and not just the ensuing laziness.
This must be where, for some people, there is eventually a tie-in with other drugs (how they say that trying itty-bitty little things can lead to the "bad" drugs). I was mostly not interested in trying things outside of alcohol (much like I was not interested in alcohol when it would have been "cool" to transgress or rebel when I was a teenager). But part of me was also afraid to because I had a notion that I would become addicted and drop deeper and deeper into problems. And of course my problems were BIG ENOUGH with the most legal of all things to take in, the alcohol I had a choice not to consume, yet repeatedly did.
I don't know how valid that line of thought is about potential cross-addiction for me, but to the extent that I know anything at all about my experience, I think I could have been an addict with anything I would have tried in order to manufacture an exhiliration for myself. And it would have been a variation of the same fake resource for strength that only weakened my spirits and body in the long run.
Thanks