(((((Neo)))))
You never have to apologize for venting and rambling. This site and others HELP so much with that, it is the outlet we need.
As to your 'waxing nostalgic' you are not alone there either. In the first couple of years of my recovery it seemed I did that a lot only remembering the 'good' times and the 'fun'. Then with a 'big nudge' from my sponsor, when the nostalgia would set in I would also look at the 'bad' from those times. Force myself to remember all the 'screw ups' by me. Force myself to look at the 'ugly' side of the coin.
In other words to 'take in' the 'whole' reality and not just the 'partial' that King Alcohol used to try and lure me back.
You are doing exactly what you need to do for you to get past this. GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!
And yes, there were 'good times' for me while I was out there 'practicing' my affliction. But sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly they were replaced by the "uglies."
Nothing wrong with having nostalgia. It will bring you closer to 'never wanting to go back there again.'
Just keep posting, talking about this, etc and it will pass.
J M H O
Love and hugs,