Welcome to SR.
My son is an addict too, missing for over 5 years now, lost somewhere in his addiction. I share your pain, I know how hard it is to watch someone we love destroy themselves with drugs.
His addiction almost destroyed me too, but I found support and recovery through this site, and also through going to meetings. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us who love addicts, and it was these meetings that gave me my life back and made it worth living again...regardless of how my son is doing.
There are many moms here who would welcome you also, and share their experience, strength and hope with you. Most of us post on the Family and Friends of Substance Abusers forum, a couple of forums down.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe take a read there and see of you might feel comfortable joining us.
You've come to a good place here at SoberRecovery and are no longer alone.
Hugs