Love my son
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 3
Love my son
Hi All,
I am a Mother of a 21 year old son, who has been struggling addiction since the age of 13. He has been to 3 recovery centres, he spent 9 months in the last recovery centre and has been struggling to stay clean, he has been out of the centre for just over 2 years and has relapsed several times, each time he only used once, he would then be clean for a couple of weeks and he would then relapse again. I want so much to help him but I just don't know how anymore. I recently got married again but I wont allow him to destroy my relationship with my new husband. He has hurt everyone that love's him. When will this madness stop!!!
I am a Mother of a 21 year old son, who has been struggling addiction since the age of 13. He has been to 3 recovery centres, he spent 9 months in the last recovery centre and has been struggling to stay clean, he has been out of the centre for just over 2 years and has relapsed several times, each time he only used once, he would then be clean for a couple of weeks and he would then relapse again. I want so much to help him but I just don't know how anymore. I recently got married again but I wont allow him to destroy my relationship with my new husband. He has hurt everyone that love's him. When will this madness stop!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR.
My son is an addict too, missing for over 5 years now, lost somewhere in his addiction. I share your pain, I know how hard it is to watch someone we love destroy themselves with drugs.
His addiction almost destroyed me too, but I found support and recovery through this site, and also through going to meetings. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us who love addicts, and it was these meetings that gave me my life back and made it worth living again...regardless of how my son is doing.
There are many moms here who would welcome you also, and share their experience, strength and hope with you. Most of us post on the Family and Friends of Substance Abusers forum, a couple of forums down.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe take a read there and see of you might feel comfortable joining us.
You've come to a good place here at SoberRecovery and are no longer alone.
Hugs
My son is an addict too, missing for over 5 years now, lost somewhere in his addiction. I share your pain, I know how hard it is to watch someone we love destroy themselves with drugs.
His addiction almost destroyed me too, but I found support and recovery through this site, and also through going to meetings. Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and CoDA are three similar fellowships that have helped many of us who love addicts, and it was these meetings that gave me my life back and made it worth living again...regardless of how my son is doing.
There are many moms here who would welcome you also, and share their experience, strength and hope with you. Most of us post on the Family and Friends of Substance Abusers forum, a couple of forums down.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Maybe take a read there and see of you might feel comfortable joining us.
You've come to a good place here at SoberRecovery and are no longer alone.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379
Hi and welcome,
my heart goes out to you. You are obviously very supportive, which is a wonderful thing.
As for your question, the madness will stop when your son is ready and stops fighting.
SR has a family forum for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts. You might want to try that, there will be people in the same situation and you need your own support in all of this.
Maybe your son would benefit from joining SR too. Nobody can understand an alcoholic/addict like another alcoholic/addict. Good luck and once again, welcome.
my heart goes out to you. You are obviously very supportive, which is a wonderful thing.
As for your question, the madness will stop when your son is ready and stops fighting.
SR has a family forum for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts. You might want to try that, there will be people in the same situation and you need your own support in all of this.
Maybe your son would benefit from joining SR too. Nobody can understand an alcoholic/addict like another alcoholic/addict. Good luck and once again, welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
I hope that you find support for yourself.
Your son needs to find his way to recover and to make the changes in his life that are necessary.
In the meantime, you will find lots of information and support here.
I hope that you find support for yourself.
Your son needs to find his way to recover and to make the changes in his life that are necessary.
In the meantime, you will find lots of information and support here.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Welcome, Lovemyson..
I am another mom of an addicted child. She used for 11 years and I suffered right along with her, desperately trying to fix or change, because I thought that was my job.
Years later, when I was sick with the codie crazies, I stumbled onto SR. Between the wisdom of the Family Forums, Al-Anon, and later CoDA, I learned about the disease of Alcoholism, and my role in loving someone addicted.
Most importantly, I learned about me, and my codependency, and how to take my life back even though my addict chose to continue the path she was on.
Just this year, she finally chose to get well and has 8 months sober..
Lovemyson, this is a blessed place, with many parents who are or have walked your path..There is always hope.
Prayers for you and your son
I am another mom of an addicted child. She used for 11 years and I suffered right along with her, desperately trying to fix or change, because I thought that was my job.
Years later, when I was sick with the codie crazies, I stumbled onto SR. Between the wisdom of the Family Forums, Al-Anon, and later CoDA, I learned about the disease of Alcoholism, and my role in loving someone addicted.
Most importantly, I learned about me, and my codependency, and how to take my life back even though my addict chose to continue the path she was on.
Just this year, she finally chose to get well and has 8 months sober..
Lovemyson, this is a blessed place, with many parents who are or have walked your path..There is always hope.
Prayers for you and your son
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