Tazman: I think that the relapse was coming on for years. The short answer is that I stopped going to meetings. My old attitudes and negative thinking returned, especially since I lost a spiritual connection. I went through a difficult divorce (and stayed sober during that time), and then, one day, out on a date, I said why not? And I kept fooling myself for about six months that I could drink again like a "normal" person. But I've known for a long time that where this train was headed, and I guess that it had to get this bad (again) for me to end up here.