Sometimes this is what needs to happen - I know it was for me - I had to be absolutely disgusted and terrified. The last time that happened I feared for my life after a 3 week binge. My body couldn't take any more abuse. I came here and never looked back. I found the encouragement I needed from people I respected, who had been where I had.
You can do this - remember how you feel right now, and vow to never put yourself back there again. A new day will dawn for you - you will be free.