How can I honestly say I can ever give unconditional love to another if I have to jump ship every time something is so uncomfortable?
I don't think it is your duty to give this person your unconditional love. I don't even think it is possible to give another human adult unconditional love unless it is your own child. I think you are putting way too much on your own shoulders as concerns your cousin. This doesn't sound like mere discomfort, this sounds like trauma. It is time to let go of whatever sense of duty you have for her (she is a grown adult), and take care of yourSELF and yes, be selfish in doing so. I think you are feeling guilt for letting her go--DON'T. She is not your responsibility-YOU are. It is okay to let go.