Welcome Joseph! I dreaded using the word "alcoholic" and avoided it for years. When I came here I learned to finally admit what I am. I had so much company here - so much understanding - I wasn't alone anymore. I got the courage to quit after 25 yrs. of playing with it. My life had turned into chaos and I was a slave to alcohol.
You seem unsure of where you stand with it. Before I reached the final stages I went through all sorts of phases with my drinking - I was able to control it when I was much younger, but it finally overtook me. Alcohol was in charge of my life. If you are having problems now, there is the possibility that down the line you'll become more dependent on it. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "alcoholism is a progressive disease". Only you can determine whether or not you're an alcoholic - but maybe reading & posting here will help you decide what steps to take. I don't attend AA meetings at the present time either, but know many who feel it saved their life.
We're glad you are here & hope to learn more about you.