My heart goes out to you. I cannot imagine what you are going through and I pray that God gives you the strength to keep your sister's memory and honor her by not drinking. Do you have anyone that you can talk to (family, friends), and be honest with them that you need help? When I finally told my mom and husband i needed help, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. This is all new to me. Since Friday I have been sober....thank you God. I am going through withdrawals, and this weekend was hell, but thank goodness I had help. Please honor your sister by trying to stop drinking. You are already halfway there....you are asking for help. You are strong...please love yourself.