Well, I'm back, little bit bruised and a lot shaken...
I wrote a "diary" this time of how the days/ minutes were going, and roughly what I was feeling. It's pretty interesting. I took the last shot this morning, I remember it because I panicked as soon as the liquor was gone--I had decided last night to stop today but at 7 am I was reconsidering...
I (well, before this mess) was going to at least 7 meetings a week, meditating, reading the Daily Reflections, the Bible, calling 3 people in AA (from the phone lists) and leaving them messages to have a nice day (they rarely answer anymore). Talking to people at meetings.
Then I'd come home to a lonely house... but that wasn't it this time. Not at all. I noticed it when I was writing in that diary... I was so scared of the future holds, I ran away the best way I knew how. And lo and behold, it's a week later and the future's still as uncertain and scary as it was last week... only difference of course is my body hurts and I feel guilty about wasting a week when I might could have been doing something/ talking to people with more knowledge of this to become comfortable with it.
Or at least studying for my midterms/ writing some of the little papers I have due coming up. Tomorrow I get a reprieve, it's a furlough day, so I gotta do all that paper stuff.
Take care y'all,
TB, glad y'all are doing good. Seeing it here seems more real than the real people at AA, I can't tell you why, but continue to have good days
