Ah, yes, yes, the future-tripping, Freedom. True enough. And Jadmack I really like what you say about detachment. I can get a grip on that! I'm getting there, beginning to actually get excited about letting others make their own decisions, and really enjoying making my OWN decisions, too! It's the extra piece I'm stumbling over: how to manage having an intimate relationship with someone and still being okay with their choices that I might disagree with. I've not been able to manage that in my life thus far w/o judging myself for not "saving" or "seeing the potential" in the other person--the fear that I will give up on the wonderful aspects of the relationship too soon.
wanting, I want to see a Thrill-ah video like that one!! Please!
cymbal and L2L, I'm hearing that you see my answer in my words, and really appreciate what you say about giving myself permission to do what's right for me. I'm still in the fear. I can't imagine NOT going to this next counseling appointment, and yet you're right, L2L, I have a choice here. And there's still time, it's not like I have to make an appointment today (it's still unscheduled at this point), and I don't have decide anything right now.
Deeper still into the fear is the thought, "what if I don't know how to have a connected intimate relationship without the drama?" Maybe that's what I need to get to. I've been meditating on the 3rd step, guess I still need more work there.
Thanks for your responses...I'd love to hear more about this topic, it feels really "stuck" inside of me right now.
posie