your story sounds familiar... cocaine messed up my life and i quit for a while, then went back to using only if the oppurtunity came up.. like if it was around or someone called me up & offered it to me. i justified using by thinking that if i wasnt seeking it i wasnt addicted to it anymore. eventually i started getting into it heavy again & realized that i had to stop. i want to reinforce what chance said; you CAN NOT be around it or people/places that remind you of it. studies have shown that even people who have been clean 10+ years had urges if they were even in the vicinity of a house/neighborhood/etc where they used to do cocaine. i have only been clean a little over 2 years and i definitely know this to be true... any reminder gives me an immediate urge. i dont want to discourage you- its completely doable no matter how frequent or strong the urges are once you have found something that works for you, and if you keep your reasons for wanting to quit in the forefront of your mind it makes it alot easier. someone also said that you have to remember the coming down & the consequences, and that is also one thing that really helped me to quit. i think people tend to only think about the euphoria when we want to use but if you can manage to think about the catastrophic consequences you have experienced directly resulting from your use, it will obviously seem much less appealing. find some support & figure out what works for you... take it one day at a time & never give up on yourself. best of luck