When I have one foot in yesterday, and another foot in tomorrow, I'm in perfect position to p*ss all over today.
Future-tripping, and making decisions based on fear that came out of that future-tripping always ended up being extremely painful choices for me.
My last codependent relapse was fear-based, and I managed to make a fair mess of things, and hurt people in the process.
I have to remember to stay in the moment, to live in today. That's really all any of us have, no?
I have a different take than a lot of people when it comes to hope. For me, hope is an an emotion based on the possible outcome of future events (I hope my daughter gets clean/sober). There is a very good chance I will be disappointed and hurt in the end.
After 17 years of the same old same old from my 32 year old AD, I don't have hope.
What I have is faith, faith that God has a plan for her just as he has had/does have for me, and I feel good about that.
I don't base my actions on what she is/isn't doing, what she might/might not do.
I don't base my actions on her, period.
I base my actions on what is best for me as I move forward in my recovery, and strive to be a little bit better every day.
I have to take care of me first and foremost, and sometimes that has meant cutting the ties with people who were toxic to my recovery.