"I should accept him as he is and he's always been or just forget it."
change that to :
"Accept him as he is and as he was
AND just forget it."
That's kinda like this Huna-person taught me once:
You sit alone ... just quiet... no drama music...
Accept it as it is.
Completely.
Then...
Accept it ... as it ISN'T...
completely.
Then ...
As it WAS...
continue...
As it WILL BE...
then the big one -
As it will NEVER be....
when you've done each ... completely....
you have ALREADY let it go.
takes a little parctice.
I haven't thought about that in a LONG time...
I oughta go do that myself about the whole 'family' crap...