I agree with 55438 Neo - your honesty and power shine though your posts. I'm thrilled that you now see things so clearly. I, too, relished the comfort of oblivion. As you know, I tried to continue my party for many more years past what you did. I'm so happy you will never put yourself through the hell that many of us have - you stopped your self-destruction in it's tracks. Everything you hoped to achieve is still possible.