I fell back. Damn it, I can't accept it. I know that I am an alcoholic, but can't accept it. I am a closet drinker. I don't think anyone knows but at the same time, I think they all know.. Feel this burden that if they do know, why don't they say anything? If they don't know...well the Mr. Hyde in my brain is just going to do what he wants. I hope that staying on here and reading other posts I can finally comes to grips with it.