why do they feel the need to talk about it?
my ah doesnt have insurance. he also maintains that he doesnt go to the dr to get his own meds. he used to but according to him he stopped going last march. i have never seen any evidence that he still goes to the dr or any other. he has a source within the family that could keep him and a few others in pills so it is believable that he could get all he wants without going to the dr himself. the only thing that makes me think he must be going himself somehow is that he is kinda tight with money and he would consider it more 'economical'. i dont know what his daily mg is right now. i do know that he moved up to more potent stuff. so i know what i know and i start a new job in one week. i am steadily getting my stuff together so that i can put it to him either get help and get off of these or me & kids are leaving. i dont want to say it till i can follow thru. i used to confront him with what i knew but i dont anymore cause i know he just denies even when faced with 'evidence'. i still look for proof. i do it so i dont doubt myself even without his lying and denying. i never mention it at all.
here is the thing tho... regularly he will start talking about having to find a new dr... one that will DO something about his back instead of just handing out pain pills, talking about getting some insurance in case he has to have surgery (fwiw i DO NOT think his back is bad enough to need surgery, i dont even think he needs that daily meds) he has beat around the bush for months about talking to his boss about getting insurance thru work. i cant figure out why he doesnt want to do this.
without me confronting him on what i find i suppose he thinks i dont know that he still takes them. so why does he feel this need to talk about his back and how he cant live with this pain very much longer and that he doesnt want to go back to the pain management dr.... is he goading me? testing me to see if i will admit to finding his pills? does he really believe himself even knowing that he is still stuffing more and more pills down his throat?
have others here with addicts in denial experienced anything like this?