I called to start counseling today, I'm lucky that my company has a good EAP program... that was the most I could do. Since we are on opposite coasts, going with my son isn't feasible right now. I did do some research online into rehab centers in his area, just in case. Maybe my counselor will have some ideas.
It was all I could do to get through the day. I cried in the car most of the way home.
I also broke down and called my xab... it was good to talk to him. It was comforting to talk to someone who knows the situation. Who also knows what it's like to be an addict. Trust me, I'm under no illusions as to our situation. I was just reaching out to a familiar thing, like an addict getting a fix. It made me feel better, but also made me feel weak and like I just took a step back. I have to say, it was good that he was there for me this time... but I know there is no guarantee for the next time. I suppose I'll just file this under "one day at a time" and accept it for what it is.
I'm home now and glad that I made it through the day with a modicum of dignity and grace.