Originally Posted by
crazypants 
i guess i think if i leave now my daughter isnt quite old enough to understand and hate me for leaving her daddy.
Hi crazypants...just wanted to chime in with a "WELCOME TO SR!!", and this:
Yes, a separation from her father will be a big adjustment to a 3 year old, BUT you can help her adjust by talking to her, creating a consistent routine for her, and keeping the dialogue open. Your daughter's daddy is sick, and eventually she will understand this. By choosing to remain with this alcoholic/addict, you are modelling a type of relationship for your daughter where it is ok for one partner to abuse another.
I too felt like a coward in the face of my XAH. Heck, I'm still a bit of a coward with him...but I'm slowly learning how to stand up for myself. How to say "NO, this isn't acceptable". It's a work in progress...
Keep posting!