Hi man, I am really back into listening to music but I have had to quit gigging and thinking about getting back into a band as I still find it very hard to think about band life, gigging and being tea-total. I still kind of feel uneasy about it all and it ain't because I want to drink booze but it is so closely related to me. I am also wary that I don;t want to put myself into any situations where the first drink will be around, even with no desire to drink anymore I realise that it is potentially dangerous for an alcoholic.
I can't have one without the other so I have put my guitar playing on the back-foot as I have just been concentrating on working, saving money and recovery. I also have sorted my future plans out over the last 8 motnhs and so I am just saving money.
I guess the guitar playing will come back in time but I am just warey about it at the moment and for me I find it difficult to still think of band/gigging etc and being tea-total, the two just seem worlds apart to me. Kind of a shame I guess but it's the lesser of two evils. So I just am contrating on recovery and keeping sober.
I guess I was just feeling a little 'off' as I now have some time off work, so people asking me what I'm doing etcetc. It's difficult being an alcoholic as my sobriety is so precious so I still tend to protect my life in cotton wool to an extent. I am fine about it but my gratitute slips occassionally but I soon snap myself out of it!
Peace