You guys have helped me more than you would ever know. I have a hard time leaving Cory alone AT ALL. Every time I leave he makes me feel bad for going, like he can not stand to be alone. So it's hard for me to go to the 1 Al-Anon meeting my city offers each week....
I feel stronger than I did 3 years ago....and I really believe it's because of sober recovery! You guys have made me realize things about myself that I never understood. My happiness REALLY DOES depend on his...
And even though I know this and I know what's right for me, I'm still so scared to leave, for so many different reasons.
1. I don't want to be another person to abandon him
2. I know things will get worse if I leave
3. I feel like I'm not accepted in my own family...I'm not a straight A student at a 4-year University like my other siblings are....
4. I can't imagine loosing my best friend while he's still alive
I think I will go out and get that book today...
I just have a hard time seeing myself leaving for good. I know it's good for me, but I literally can't be OK knowing he's not....
It's really sad, and I never thought my life would end up like this...I thought my 20's were supposed to be fun and full of life...
It's the hardest thing I have ever had to go through...my whole body and mind are exhausted...