Wow! I love this post and I have read the book once and I’m looking forward to reading it again. SR and the book saved my life basically.
My history – parents divorced when I was 12 and dad was an alcoholic. My mom was and still is queen codie! Even though I was young when my dad lived with us I remember what she put up with…the long nights out, the getting us out of bed to go pick him up at a bar and watching her take care of his EVERY need. He did nothing except drink and work. He did nothing with us as a family. So, I think that is why I went searching at the young age of 15 for love and attention. I found it…a drug addict that was 12 yrs older. Married him and moved out. Put up with emotional and physical abuse for 4 yrs from that man. My 2nd husband was a decent good man, had a wonderful relationship with his family. So, I thought wow this is the ONE. We were together for 10 yrs. He smoked pot and then it gradually became a HUGE coke habit. I left when I had enough. We stayed friends and I used my codieness to enable him through his new Meth addiction even though we were divorced. He is 2yrs clean now, but boy I look back and wish I had found SR back then.
I went through 8 more yrs of dysfunctional relationships thinking every time it was the GUY. I never once thought it could be ME that was the problem. Until this last relationship with another drug addict. METH was his DOC and boy is it true that it is the devils drug! He was the biggest liar, manipulator and user. I had felt I gave up too soon in that 10 yr marriage so I thought I’m going to stick it out with this one and HELP him get clean.
Then I found SR and boy what an eye opener. I found out I am a CODIE to the core and realized I’m the one messed up also. I made Mr. Meth guy move out 3 months ago soon after finding SR. He took every ounce of my self esteem. He ripped my insides out and I LET him. I truly believe god brought him into my life to WAKE me up and boy did he. I am very thankful for that part at least.
I DESERVE better and I know that now. I work on my codie issues on a daily basis. I have learned so much from this site and still have a ton of work to do. But, I do at least realize now what I was searching for all those years was exactly what was missing inside ME. I’m working on loving myself and being truly happy in my own skin so that I NEVER make the mistake of seeking out happiness in another person. And I will never allow someone else to steal my JOY.
Thanks for letting me share!