{Enter stage left, a Pelican. The big beaked bird is plodding onto center stage and appears to be looking for something....}
"Anyone got an extra boost of confidence to enter the room after Ali?" the Pelican says
Thank you Alizerin for starting a book study on Codependent No More!
30 second history:
In the real world, and on the forum - I am a bird of few words.
Middle child to middle class parents. Non-drinking parents. Using Melody's labels I would describe my mom as neurotic and my dad as a workaholic.
I am a recovering alcoholic, recovering codependent,and a recovering ex-spouse of an alcoholic. I am also a mom to 3 children and 2 pets.
About the book:
This is not my first reading of CNM. I am thankful for another opportunity to read the book and look forward to the shares from my SR family. During this reading of CNM, I am again struck by the repetition of the adjectives used to describe codies. Specifically:
hostile, controlling, manipulative, indirect, and guilt producing.
Each time I read those words, images of my mother, my alcoholic or someone else in my personal/professional life flash before my eyes. I have to mentally remove those images and remember this is about ME. I have those characteristics in my life. Ugh! I don't like holding the magnifying mirror up to see myself, but I know if I am to grow I have to self-examine.
Indirect stands out as my current red flag. I catch myself holding back because I don't want to hurt another person's feelings. I am not responsible for their feelings, just mine! I need to be more honest with myself so that I can be more specific in stating my desires and boundaries in my life. That is one of my goals for this reading of CNM.