I don't know where to start, I've not logged on for a while but I guess I kinda want advice? Do I though? I am not sure what I want to be honest, I feel like I can't carry on like I have been, even though I am "slightly" better than what I was, lol, I can so see the denial written in that sentence.
The "slightly" better really means I can drink as much if not more but with out so many concequences, giving me the false sense of security that I am ok :/
I don't even know why I am typing this, probably the fact that it's 8pm and I have already drank half a bottle of vodka, oh and a few ciders I had midday, I really don't want to go to the shop for more, well I do, but I am thinking whats the point? Will I actually feel better if I keep drinking?
Aghh I dunno, I have such bad cravings for more right now, but part of me, I guess the part thats writing this is saying why, why do you want more.
I seriously can't imagine my life without alcohol, I have drank since I was 14 I am 39 next month, I certainly wouldn't be typing here if I hadn't had some, I can't talk to people without a drink in me. I don't want to die from alcohol, but I don't know any other way to be
I have no idea what I expect people to say to this post, but at least while I was typing it I wasn't on the way to the shop for more!