I think you're doing great, Deb. I was pretty much catatonic for weeks when I lost my sister to suicide, then again when I lost the second.
But I started to have days like you're having, where I could start to see what I DIDN'T want. That was much easier than trying to find (in my aching brain and heart) what I DID want. Those first steps were hard, but one led to another, to another, to another.
My dogs are helpful as well. Not sure what the behavioral science is behind that, but they certainly do support their pack leader. I have a non-affectionate little pug that, when I'm "on the couch" as you are, would come and lay right on my chest....all 25 pounds of him. Almost like he was trying to get as close to my heart as possible, pour some life into me.
You're doing well. This will not last forever.
