Really, thank you. I totally bashed the belief in God, but still you speak to me with warmth and kindness. Offering me help. I was angry and frustrated last night when I wrote my little tirade about God. I see the good in life. I see what is true. What is pure. Like how sometimes you look out a window and for a short moment you feel that clarity. The sun could be setting a certain way that day and you look out the window and feel something. I wouldn't say it would be called hope. Just feeling something that is good. I want that feeling all the time. That things are ok in the world. Nobody hurts.Nobody suffers. I know I will never obtain that peace of mind. So...maybe that is why I drink to escape. ( Oh, and the fact that my entire family have had issues with drinking.) On my mother's side...mental illness..Grandmother(suicide) Grandfather(suicide) My Mom(mental illness)...and now my other side...Dad(Alcoholic) Grandmother(mental illness) Grandfather(normal, or whatever normal is) But of course, he died when I was 18. Poetic really. The main influence in my life dies before I become a man. So, there is my little sob story. A dime a dozen right?
Really though, I want to thank you for being so kind. Been to other message boards and they just seem so filled with hate. Not here though. Thank you all so much.