You're not alone. We are all here for you, some of us have btdt too. Keep posting! The hardest part (my opinion) is watching the dream die before our eyes when we love an addict. The lies (to me) really cut to my core because I know at my core that it IS a lie. The acts of ignoring, overlooking, minimizing, make excuses for...you know the drill! It damages our own sense of right and wrong. The codie in us starts to get amped up and the vicious cycle beging. sounds like your abf has a lot of false starts. how many are YOU willing to endure?