Newbie
Hi Hummingbird,
You already have provided your own answer: "I realize I have to break some cycles and make a solid decision to sober up."
Realizing it and doing it are two completely different things. Nothing will happen until you agree, spot-on, with no hesitation, with Step 1. You know the drill. Right? If not, I'd look for at least a temporary sponsor, and get a handle on it.
An online forum is okay for getting ideas/suggestions, especially if you're geographically isolated. Otherwise, it doesn't substitute for an in-person meeting. When I got sober, I needed to have a sponsor, from Day 1, who would call me on my B.S. Other real-life people in the rooms can do that, too. It's a drag until you realize they're helping you to save your life, and to have a better life.
Your partner? Unless he's willing to give up drinking, he's much more likely to get you drunk than you are to get him sober. What you do about that is up to you.
Get a meeting list, get a sponsor, get sober for real ... one day at a time ... and get a much more happy and fulfilling life. It'll happen if you want it.
Love and blessings,
Jane