Hi all, new to this forum and finding it highly educational (to say the least!).
I've been lurking unregistered, and am still getting used to the jargon and acronyms, so bear with me.
My boyfriend of 2 months is sober and in recovery for the past two years.
I know him since I was 12 (now 29) and he was my first boyfriend (and 3rd, and 5th
).
The way it went was that he drank entirely through our teens and 20's, and (apart from some weak moments) refused to be with him. I guess I came across as cold and uninterested, but it was purely for my own sake.
We were friends regardless (his sister is my best friend), though I didn't see much of him in the past few years when I went off to Uni, preferring not to see him drink himself to death.
He went in to rehab 2 years ago after finally admitting to himself he had a problem.
He came out of rehab with a girlfriend (yep, we all thought he was mad too).
After moving in about 6 weeks later, and getting engaged to her last year, he finally realised that he was codependant, not particularly liking her, and broke it off.
I pounced on the opportunity and asked him out. A few weeks of a think, and time to move on from the last girl, he accepted.
Finally, the sober guy I always wanted to be with - talk about a shock!
I've loved him since I first met him, and still do.
From what I read on here, distancing myself while he was still drunk was a blessing in that I have little resentment or baggage.
I would describe myself as pretty well balanced, serene, and level headed.
Quite the contrast to my boyfriend.
Mainly I'm here to understand things.
With the smorgasboard of problems and issues to yet work though that my boyfriens has, I guess I would like reassurance if I come to feel that things are abnormal in the coming weeks and months.
He seems fine now, to an extent. He's working the program diligently.
I'm supportive in that he gets his meetings in, his gym time, his time to grow, space to sort stuff out, etc.
Hope is the name of the game here for me.
It's been going fantastic between us.
I guess I'm waiting for the horror to begin, though it may never, and wary that my thinking this way will never allow us to fully realise anything.
I could write this way for ages, so I'll stop
I say these things to him too, and he doesn't mind.
I'll talk concerns over with him, as I would expect him to do with me too, but there's only so much I can ask him about general things before I'd drive him mad, hence my presence here.
Advice? Comments?