Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
...the longer the abuse continues, the deeper the hole gets, and the more impossible it gets to imagine quitting. it's hard, it's dang hard - using is the easier softer way.
quitting an addiction isn't quite like choosing color for wall paint. it requires a psychic shift, a wholesale change of everything known and familiar, however dreadful that familiarity makes life.
Sounds like me and my codependency!
Hard to stop.
I've been doing life the old way for 35 years.
Have to shift EVERYTHING.
Takes a HIGH level of consciousness every second.
It's hard and not so much fun.
I want to blame it all on him. Not take responsibility. Not be forced to change.
I don't like digging up all the old stuff.
I don't like admitting how topsy turvy I can be.
I don't like admitting how powerless I have been.
I don't like admitting how righteous I have been.
Etc. etc. etc!
Growth is the harder row to hoe.
And the one with all the benefits in the end!
