Tomorrow is 60 days for me. My 20 yr. old son lives in another state, out of the house, going to school, etc. I finally got the courage to tell him yesterday. This was very hard for me, because to tell him that I quit, I had to, of course, admit to him out loud that I had a problem in the first place.
So, I started with the easy part first, telling him that I quit. He asked what brought me to that decision. I told him then that I realized that the way I drink/drank wasn't normal, and that I didn't want to live like that anymore.
He was so happy! He told me that he thought that I had a problem for a long time, and that he worried about me a lot growing up. He also told me though that he thought that I was so strong for realizing it, and just stopping the cycle. He was just so happy, and he kept telling me how proud he was of me. And I apologized to him for being hungover all those weekends. It was pretty gut wrenching. He said, "Mom, it's ok! I love you so much. You were a great mom. You made me the person I am, and I love you." This very wise young man told me to not dwell on the past, but to be proud of what I've done and look forward. (How did he get so smart!? LOL!
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This child, this young man is so kind it almost breaks my heart. Talking with him openly about it set something free in me. I still wish on a daily basis that I could turn back time, and I'm so sorry, so very very sorry that I wasted time so stupidly, and for so long. But I feel that telling him that I quit, and for nearly two whole months now, is letting me show him that I am serious about this, and acknowledging and owning the hurt I caused.
I was what I think you'd call a highly functioning alcoholic...so I thought I had it all together...work hard, play hard - that whole thing. And I was in denial myself, so I didn't really think anyone else knew for a long time. WRONG. He knew. But the outpouring of love and support from him was indescribable. He called me his best friend, telling me that I could always tell him anything.
God, it's so strange when what you've been putting in to them all these years starts coming back out just when you need it most.
I am so humbled by this beautiful human being that I have the privilege to call my son.