I have a problem with alcohol
Hi everyone,
I am a wife and mother of a wonderful 11 month old baby boy.
I also have a problem with alcohol. I have never said this out-loud. I stopped drinking just 3 and a half days ago. I have a hard time calling myself an "alcoholic". Something about that label bothers me. I guess I have preconceived notions on what an "alcoholic" is - someone who puts booze in their coffee etc. (I don't apply that logic to anyone else but for some reason I have a hard time applying the term to myself.) My problem is that I use alcohol to feel better and the last few months I've been drinking daily. I'm a binge drinker as well. If I go out, I can't just have a few beers and have fun, I drink and drink and drink until I do things that make me so ashamed of myself. Just act like an @ss in general. I really out did myself last Friday night and I felt so terrible the next day (not hungover, just ashamed and humiliated) that I told my husband that I was not going to drink anymore. I asked him not to tell anyone else. He has never gotten angry or even told me that I need to stop drinking. He is very supportive of my decision to stop though. I guess I didn't realize just how in-over-my-head I was until today. It has really shaken me up to realize I am having withdrawl symptoms. I guess the reality of just how much I was drinking and what a big part of my life it was is setting in. I am having trouble sleeping, I'm having crazy dreams (not about booze - mostly nightmares), and I'm very aggitated and moody. Oh, and I'm so hungry! As soon as I eat, I want more food. I wouldn't mind going to AA meetings but I don't want anyone other than my husband to know what's going on and my sister-in-law is currently living with us so I don't think I could keep it a secret. I've been reading posts all day and you guys have some great information and are so supportive.
Thanks for listening.