HolyPoopie

Hi everyone,

I am a wife and mother of a wonderful 11 month old baby boy.

I also have a problem with alcohol. I have never said this out-loud. I stopped drinking just 3 and a half days ago. I have a hard time calling myself an "alcoholic". Something about that label bothers me. I guess I have preconceived notions on what an "alcoholic" is - someone who puts booze in their coffee etc. (I don't apply that logic to anyone else but for some reason I have a hard time applying the term to myself.) My problem is that I use alcohol to feel better and the last few months I've been drinking daily. I'm a binge drinker as well. If I go out, I can't just have a few beers and have fun, I drink and drink and drink until I do things that make me so ashamed of myself. Just act like an @ss in general. I really out did myself last Friday night and I felt so terrible the next day (not hungover, just ashamed and humiliated) that I told my husband that I was not going to drink anymore. I asked him not to tell anyone else. He has never gotten angry or even told me that I need to stop drinking. He is very supportive of my decision to stop though. I guess I didn't realize just how in-over-my-head I was until today. It has really shaken me up to realize I am having withdrawl symptoms. I guess the reality of just how much I was drinking and what a big part of my life it was is setting in. I am having trouble sleeping, I'm having crazy dreams (not about booze - mostly nightmares), and I'm very aggitated and moody. Oh, and I'm so hungry! As soon as I eat, I want more food. I wouldn't mind going to AA meetings but I don't want anyone other than my husband to know what's going on and my sister-in-law is currently living with us so I don't think I could keep it a secret. I've been reading posts all day and you guys have some great information and are so supportive.

Thanks for listening.

CAPTAINZING2000

Welcome to the site. Great bunch of ladies on here you can talk with about your drinking!!

EllaBella

Hi Holy,

I had similar thoughts as you do, just joined a few days ago and guys here not only gave me a great support but also my perspective of the "alcoholic" word changed a bit. You can read my post and replies that are very related to your problem here http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rifies-me.html

I also have problems talking about this to other people, but the fact is that at some point they will pressure you to have a drink with them and unless you will say "I don't drink" they will be keep pushing & no one is made out of stone.

I actually told my friend today, she asked me when are we going out, I said, that I would love to see her, but I don't drink cause I behave like a complete ******** & destroy my life when I do. Do you know what she said? Actually, I don't want to drink either, I also behave like an idiot and can't remember anything! Neither of us used the "alcoholic" term, but we both knew what we mean.

So maybe, after all, we are not all that different.

ps. it's also my 4th day today ) Let's keep each other strong!

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I think it's great that you are here seeking support.

Take a look around and you'll find lots of helpful information.

CarolD

Glad you joined us......

As you have spent time reading our posts....you already
know many of us are winning over alcohol.
This can be true for you as well....

All my best...keep posting...we all started on Day 1
and you have passed that

intention

Hi and welcome.

I hope you reconsider about AA. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking - you don't have to be an "alcoholic" - perhaps your sister in law would rather you didn't suffer, than suffered in silence.....

As to the hunger, your body is craving right now and when you eat, it recognises you have not given it what it needs so it is screaming out for more. Fill yourself up with nutritious food and this physical craving will pass soon. If you are having withdrawal symptoms, then it is a good idea to see your doctor. Detoxing without medical help can be fatal for some.

kelsh

Hi Holy,

I felt the same as you but by the time I finally got help to stop and stay stopped, I was able to follow through with AA & also help from a counselor for my clinical depression.

It has been 21 years of one day at a time. It still scares me to say it out loud or even write it because I don't want to pick up that first drink ever again. You might check with your doc because a depression may be involved due to having your baby...some Mom's experience depression after having a baby & with a little help it can usually be resolved quickly.

This Sober Recovery Program is a very good place to start & gives you a lot of real concern & help from our personal experiences with alcohol. I wish you the best. :wub:

kelsh

least

Yes, please see a doctor for medical help in getting thru detox. Meds can be given short-term to ease the withdrawal symptoms and keep you safe. As to AA... everyone at a meeting is there for the same reason: to stop drinking and improve their lives. If you went to a meeting, how would your sister in law know where you had gone? I wish you the best in getting thru withdrawals and hope you can find help to keep you sober.

Welcome to SR!

Dee74

Hi HP

Welcome to SR. I tend to think the labels not as important as what you do about it

I also tend to think what anyone else thinks about us dealing with our problem is not nearly as important as taking care of our welfare.

It's weird - we embarrass ourselves time and again with our drinking - in public, with family members...yet we feel more ashamed when we decide to do something positive about it?

Don't let your pride take the drivers seat - you know whats best for you, holy.

And please - do think about seeing a Dr if you're at all worried abut your withdrawals.

D

Slag

Welcome HP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am happy that you made it here. Give it some time and you will feel better.

Charmie

hello there holypoop and welcome to sr.
my name is Charmian and im an alcoholic.
my idea of an alcoholic was someone that drank too much.
or drank in the mornings,
or was a down and out.
then i went to AA because i knew i had a problem with alcohol.
i got a sponsor and she told me about the illness of alcoholism.
i found out i suffered a physical allergy that meant when i started drinking i couldnt stop.
one drink wasnt enough and neither was 100,i had a severe craving.
then i found out that i suffered a mental obsession also.
i could stop drinking from time to time for a little while.
but then the idea kept coming back that this time i would manage better,that i would behave and drink with impunity like other folk.
this obsession landed me in a phsyc ward at one point amongst other things.
shame,fear,guilt,remorse,embarrasment etc were all my middle names.
i drink because i am an alcoholic.
i am not an alcoholic because i drink.
my story is in the recovery stories section.
if you can identify with me (dont look for the differences!),then please feel free to pm me at any time.
welcome again.

coffeenut

Welcome!

InsideOut

Welcome to SR!! You will find tons of information, support and understanding here!!

I am an alcoholic....yes, it is hard to say that and admit it but it is true, I have sugar-coated my addiction over half of my life......I am ready to live happy and sober for the rest of my life!! We can do it......together!!!!

Keep on keeping on.......

Day 54 for me!!!

Mcribb

for me as was at my wits end and I didn't care what it took. AA NA whatever I was just ready to quit. I don't care who sees me go in. My life sucked.

daisy1

Hi Poopie (lol)!!!! Your story is similar to mine - I thought alcoholics drank in the morning - I was already putting booze in my coffee before I started drinking at 7.30am, before the school run. Those cake-baking perfect mothers made me reach compulsively for the bottle....

When someone here suggested I call myself an alcoholic I actually embraced it, and phew! It was a relief. Now I confess it annoys me, that I can't be a 'normal drinker', but I am only 5 days in (would have been 17 but fell off the wagon once).

My appetite is starting to calm down now! I have found dark chocolate really helps - its strong rich flavour kills off cravings of any kind for quite a while, and it's less sugary and better for you (I think) than normal chocolate.

Nice to meet you xxxx

Fandy

I think Dark Chocolate should be a special food group all by itself....I like 70% when I can find it.

SunshineState

Hi HolyPoopie (Love the name...made me laugh), I am rooting for you on whatever you decide to do. I am on day 5 of sobriety and I am doing a lot of reading around here. I made it to my first AA meeting this past weekend. It was the best thing I've done for myself in a very long time. Right now no one knows what I am doing. In time I know that I will share it with some of the people in my life, but for now I am keeping it to myself. Anyway, I wish you the best.

ElegantlyWasted

" I stopped drinking just 3 and a half days ago. I have a hard time calling myself an alcoholic"

Ditto that, but sub in 7 months of sobriety. The reality is that the real world involves ignorant people that are quick to judge and act by viewing the world throught the lense of superficial stereotypes. What works for me is that I know i fit the letter of the definition of one who drinks "alcoholically". I know this, therefore I don't drink. What anyone else thinks of me irrelavant. Get support from people who have a similiar mindset, here, AA etc. The reality is that what people think of you really doesn't matter; it's how you view yourself. If people are quick to judge and throw a label of alcoholic on you in a negative way, they are judgemental hypocrites and probably have major issues themselves... IMHO. After I quit, I would simply decline drink offers by saying that it interfered with my training. You could do something similiar. People already know you do screwed up things when you drink so it's already out :wtf2there in a sense. For yourself, make a connection between bad consequences and picking up the bottle, don't worry about labels. Do it for yourself. In my newly dry experience, I have found that the people who are overly insistent on me drinking with them fit the definition of alcoholic and are in denial. Welcome to the journey. Quitting alone an by itself rarely works. You need to establish new habits and that takes time. Don't beat yourself up, have faith in yourself and above all be honest with yourself and what you want. The only thing that matters is figuring ou what you want and a way to get it. Congratulations on motherhood; Mom! Welcome!

Stereosteveo

Thanks for joining us! And thanks for your honesty.
Recovery has been a whole new life beyond my imagination.
Welcome home!

Lionne

Him and Welcome to SR HolyPoopie!
Glad to have you here, and that you want to do something about your problem.
I was also a binge drinker, and then my drinking escalated over the last few months of my active alcoholism..

About the label...just don't worry too much about it, the important thing is to take care of yourself right now, and do this because you want to quit drinking. There is nothing shameful about realizing that you have a problem and doing something about it. You don't need to wear an "I'm an alcoholic" button in public to do so