[QUOTE=teke;
i know you all do but others may not understand my grief of an addict but that does not really matter. what matters to me is that i know what its like to be that addict, doing all kinds of crazy stuff, that i did love my husband and had high hopes that he'd find his way one day. it matters that he was not always the way he turned out to be and that it could have been me still out there using, getting into trouble then passing on, rather than him.
I am so, empathetic to your grief, your pain and your loss. I also went through the loss of an alcoholic husband in Oct.09. Even though we were divorced for many years, i never stopped loving, worrying, caring. I detached, but not all the way. When he passed away it was finally over. I was devastated, but at the same time, I was relieved he wasn't suffering any longer. I am relieved I'm not in the gut wrenching angst of "what's going to happen next, what tragedy, will strike this time," all that stuff. I still miss him, but it's in a more peaceful way now.
Give yourself some time to grieve. It's a necessary part of healing and it's okay, to cry, feel the loss and go through the mourning. You are wandering through the sadness, but you are not lost. In the proper time, for you and you only, you will find your way again.
"She decided to start living the life she'd imagined"~Kobi Yamada
