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Old 02-21-2010, 08:15 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
serenityqueen
Attitude of Gratitude
 
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Now he wants a chance to be the husband and father he should've been.
If this is the case, why is he still seeing the other woman, the "crutch?" This would be huge red flags flying high if it were me. Sounds to me like he's holding on to her just in case you won't take him back. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

He's all better now don't you know. He doesn't need any additional counseling or to address any other issues. He's fine now, he thinks.
Just because someone stops drinking doesn't mean that they are "fine now." Does he go to any Meetings? What kind of support system does he have. He's going to have to get to the reasons as to why he drank. The hardest part of Recovery is the work on one's self after getting clean. There's nothing worse than a dry drunk. I know several people who just stopped drinking and didn't do anything else. They are truly miserable. They can't stay clean for very long because sooner or later, all those demons in the closet come out to haunt them. I stopped drinking and using drugs so many times without any help and I know I couldn't stay clean very long.

I hope you'll just continue to focus on yourself and the kids. If he wants to be a Dad now, great. But as far as wanting to try to be a Husband again? Only time will tell. He's going to need to get rid of the girlfriend first then do a lot of work on himself before I think you should even consider letting him back into your life.

God Bless,
Judy
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