sosad, I am in agreement with the post above from MissFixit.
I have done the, "how could so and so be happy living that way?", questioning a few times. All it did was keep me bewildered and confused, sometimes angry or sad, and it took up time I could have spent more fruitfully for me. I now just think "it aint my way" and leave it to them, otherwise I let it muck with my head and interfere with my happiness.
So then you chose him over your friends, and now you are lonely! Time to reach out and reclaim those friends if it is possible, or make new ones. He isn't stopping you from doing that now, so make some plans to take back your life. The only thing holding you back is yourself, if you choose to let his addictions continue controlling you and how you live your life.
The only way to get out of the habit and rut you are in, that of "loving" him, and hoping for what is most probably the impossible, is to treat him as an addiction and work on cutting him from your life. Make the decision to replace thinking about him to thinking about you, what you need, want in life, how you can improve it and grow.
His claims of loving you and being your soulmate are not true, and his actions are what show these comments are false.
A loving soulmate does not run away to become a beach bum, and drink themselves to death, leaving you hurt, lonely and upset. That is the action of a selfish, manic and unloving addict.....not the action of a lover.
Holding on to the fantasy of him as love of your life, will keep you prisoner and you are actually being your own jailer here. You have the power to open the door and walk out of the jail and be free.
Getting help from a counsellor or therapist could ease your passage to moving on, learning to no longer love the fantasy of him and a future with him, and getting you back to the reality of what is, instead of what you wish reality was.
Make a list of people and interests you could invest yourself in and go from there.
As far as being an investment goes, I think you could describe your ex as nothing but a scam, so cut your losses now and put your energy and time into you.
God bless