I do worry about him and dream about him and wish he would get well. This is your fantasy thinking. What can you do to change it? Your future and well-being are not tied to him.
He moved far away to a warm place so he could be homeless and not freeze....and yet he tells everyone that life gets better and better and he is so happy. How could he be happy? he is far from his child, has no place to live and no steady income. He does not have any material possessions and yet he claims this Zen life if fulfilling. He somehow manages to have enough to drink. Lost everything for his true love "addiction"
Your definition of happiness and his are not the same. He is happy drinking. (Addicts lie. He might not be happy). His happiness is none of your business.
I get annoyed at his claims for happiness.
Then don't talk to him.
I am the one who is working, has family. I did lose so many almost all of my friends because they wanted me to leave him and I left them instead. I am all alone, sad, sick , lonely and trying to recover while he is well. Still claims I am his soul mate and love for me....
He is not well. He is an active A. He lies. You know these things, but choose to ignore them and focus on what he is doing right now. There is a lot of resentment here. I completely understand. I struggle too. But, you are in charge of you, not him. Do you think that you are mad at yourself for choosing him over your friends? I did that, so I know well. They (your friends) wanted you to be free of him, so now that you are, doesn't it reason that thye might be open to re-establishing connections with you? Maybe start small and reach out to one of two people for lunch or a movie? Open the lines of communication back up.
Everyone tells me I need to move on and live but how do I do that. I lost all my friends I have no one to hang out with. I am a Christian and IRONICALLY do not enjoy clubs and drinking. Isn't it funny that I met him at church and not a bar and yet his alcohol and drug problem have controlled me. Sometimes I feel like I am the one with the problem.My life is worse and he feels his is better?
His words and actions don't match. He has no integrity. That is him, not you. How do his lies or his life affect you now?
Anyway, people say move on get better, but no one seems to tell me how to make the love stop, how to not want to be with him, how to give up hope and how to forget about him.
Start living your life and doing things you enjoy without him. If friends are important, then reconnect with old ones and make new ones. Yoga, gyms, book clubs, church, classes of any kind, town meetings, etc...no booze there.
One of my biggest fears in life is to settle for someone who is good and kind and than have the true love of my life ( him) get better and be stuck with someone I just like but not love
When we get stuck in the soulmate, love of my life thing, it really limits us. What if he died? Would you go out ever again? Right now, he wants booze, not you. This hurts (HUGS), but this is reality.
I HATE BEING THE CRAZY PERSON I HAVE become. I have never had alcohol . I don;t smoke or do drugs and yet I AM SICK
Then work on not being crazy. Think about what is currently the reality. Put the energy you spend on him, on you and your goals.