Originally Posted by
sosad09 
Thank you for your pateience with my posts. i know they must be annoying because they are sad and depressing and me just moaning. I promise that I will post positve things as I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You are all so great. I feel less lost and alone because of this site.
hey, knock it off! your posts aren't annoying - that's what this forum is for!!
i totally get how you feel. the times i felt i needed to completely let go of mine, i have been afraid because i know he would walk away and never walk back, if i changed my mind or if he got more healthy and wanted to have another go at it. because he would be so hurt, and this the last in a line of hurts, he would shut off his heart forever.
i really believe that there is something not well inside of us, that causes us to be vulnerable to these addictive type people. when we address that, and when we get on the track to wellness, that will no longer exist. the thing about getting better, is that when you have gone "up" a little, you never go back "down". oh, maybe a little relapse from time to time, but when you've really reached a different level of function, it's permanent.
THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS
unfortunately, the only way through it is to go through it. you may have "him" moments months down the road. but one day you will feel like you're really over him, and then one later day, you will meet someone else and you'll be in a better place to receive the kind of love that someone will offer.
don't listen to the voices telling you to talk to him sometimes. abstinence is for us as well as the drug addict. they just don't understand.
write the girl a letter in which you tell her that you love her. then write her one which she will read many years from now.
now.....what are you doing (other than s/r) to help yourself?