might have an ulcer while he is enjoy the beach life
I have recently been horrible ill. I am in my early 30's and need to have two procedures done next week to get to the root of my stomach trouble. My family thinks it all the stress he has caused.
I do worry about him and dream about him and wish he would get well. I was doing so well. I didn't talk to him for 3 months. I caved on on Valentines Day when he called. I relapsed. I was not happy I spoke to him nor was I sad....it took all I had in me to keep cool and not lose myself in the conversation. He called again, but I didn't respond
He moved far away to a warm place so he could be homeless and not freeze....and yet he tells everyone that life gets better and better and he is so happy. How could he be happy? he is far from his child, has no place to live and no steady income. He does not have any material possessions and yet he claims this Zen life if fulfilling. He somehow manages to have enough to drink. Lost everything for his true love "addiction"
I get annoyed at his claims for happiness. I am the one who is working, has family. I did lose so many almost all of my friends because they wanted me to leave him and I left them instead. I am all alone, sad, sick , lonely and trying to recover while he is well. Still claims I am his soul mate and love for me....
Everyone tells me I need to move on and live but how do I do that. I lost all my friends I have no one to hang out with. I am a Christian and IRONICALLY do not enjoy clubs and drinking. Isn't it funny that I met him at church and not a bar and yet his alcohol and drug problem have controlled me. Sometimes I feel like I am the one with the problem.My life is worse and he feels his is better?
Anyway, people say move on get better, but no one seems to tell me how to make the love stop, how to not want to be with him, how to give up hope and how to forget about him. One of my biggest fears in life is to settle for someone who is good and kind and than have the true love of my life ( him) get better and be stuck with someone I just like but not love
I HATE BEING THE CRAZY PERSON I HAVE become. I have never had alcohol . I don;t smoke or do drugs and yet I AM SICK
His child seems to be okay without him and here I sit sick