anvil, I'm not conflicted about seeing him, I see him, hear him, overhear him and interact with him at work often and gladly that fact is less and less important everyday.
So anvil, in your opinion I should go right? And not give a damn?? basically go and do whatever I wish? mmmh. I like that
Now I'm all excited about going, even if BF doesn't want or can't go I'd love to be around or at least go for a couple of hours.
If I feel triggered or bad then, shall I leave? or shall I stick to it, breathe and try to work it through?
I called my therapist and she said there's no way to work feelings until one has them, and adviced to go and if I feel something to look at it after the fact. And reminded me to live the present moment
Mmmmmh. I don't know if I genuinely want to go or if I want to go to "SHOW OFF" my partner or "show" something to myself or common friends or something low like that.
It's funny because sometimes I truly don't give a damn anymore, and sometimes when we interact ouch! it stings and I can't picture breaking "no contact" with him and his in a social setting when I can avoid it. Shall I say hi? smile? introduce them? say hi to everyone but them? Ignore them? ugh.
I'm thinking on buying that book KP recommended and doing the exercises. Life is better when one sees feelings as opportunities to grow. I'm glad they are not as strong now....